Dealing with the “yeah, buts”

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How often do you sabotage hopes and dreams by using those two words…”yeah, but…” They are dream busters. How can you stay focused on what you most want, with those words buzzing around you like bothersome gnats?

As you become more aware of your “yeah, buts” you can counteract them…by using another “yeah, but…” Think of a situation you’d like to experience - for example, you want to start an interior design business and you’re distracted by a “yeah, but I’m not sure I could make it.” You can turn a yeah, but to your advantage, with “Yeah, but I’m really enthused by working in interior design.” By using another “yeah, but…” it seems to lessen the strength of the first distracting “yeah, but.”

“Yeah, buts” happen. If they’re part of your vocabulary, learn to use ‘em to your advantage.

Living music

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The Music
For sixty years I have been forgetful,
every minute, but not for a second
has this flowing toward me stopped or slowed.
I deserve nothing. Today I recognize
that I am the guest the mystics talk about.
I play this living music for my host.
Everything today is for the host.
- Rumi
What if we lived our lives as though we were the Living Music? Would we be living differently? What would be different?

Trusting our own experiences

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“What if a woman were to allow herself to trust her own unhappiness and to make life changes - changes that would allow time and place for her to experience her life as it lives itself out slowly, moment by moment? to allow herself time and place to be present to her own burning fire, the water springing from the rock of her own experience…
What if a woman trusted her own tears enough to listen to them, to make real changes in her individual schedule, and to see if those changes spread to her ofice, her committee, her religious group?
What if she trusted her anger, her irritation, her illness, even her depression, as signs that her own life was calling to her?”
Judith Duerk, Circle of Stones, Woman’s Journey To Herself.

Tonight I’m holding my first Speaking Circle in several months. Being able to really be present to ourselves is, to me, one of the greatest blessings of a Speaking Circle. When people ask me why I get so excited when I speak of Circles, this is why…the opportunity to explore and be supported and nourished by the group and what we discover. This is the richness. This is what I want to have more of.

Life as an exploration

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I think I should have my life all figured out by now. I am in my fifties, after all… older than my new doctor. Omigosh. How did THAT happen? And when?
I never thought my life would be so much trial-and-error. I guess I thought it was going to be (or at least it was supposed to be) try-and-be-very-good-right-away. In my dreams…like the one where the I meet this handsome, kind, intelligent, spiritual, rich guy who adores me and we live happily ever after. Yeah, that one.

Life Lab

So, waking up seems to mean that you accept that there’s a lot of experimenting and trying things out. This is your Life Lab. What works here? What is it you DO want? Eeeew! That’s not what you were expecting! What’s next? And realizing nothing is WRONG, it really is just not the outcome you’d hoped for. So, what IS next?

What’s Next?

Just received my copy of Style Statement by Carrie McCarthy and Danielle LaPorte. I am excited about delving into this book, probably because when I first heard Carrie McCarthy speak about people being “thirsty for knowing themselves” I thought, here’s a woman after my own heart. The book seems to offer some great questions for self-discovery, and I’m jazzed about the process! McCarthy & LaPorte write,

“We rarely think twice about what we’re attracted to. But what floats our boat - and why - is the zillion-dollar question.”

Inquiry

What do you love - and why?

Life with more passion

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Do you want more passion in your life? More joy, more enthusiasm? What do you think is stopping the flow of these in your life?

I’m going to hazard a guess. If your life lacks passion and juice, it’s probably because you’re playing it safe, living in your comfort zone, even if it’s not pleasant. Remember that old saying, better the devil you know than the devil you don’t? We go around thinking, oh, this isn’t great, but “out there” could be worse! So, if you really do want to enjoy your life more, you’re likely going to have to get out of what you perceive as your comfy little world. You have to ask yourself: How comfortable is my comfort zone, really? It may feel safe at one level, but, if you go a little deeper or look from a broader perspective, is your comfort zone really healthfully comfortable? Comfort is great for shoes and waistbands, not so much for the evolution and growth of the soul.

So, we have a choice to stay “safe” or to venture out from our comfort zone. If we choose to venture out, we’re bound to meet resistance early on. In her book, Fearless Living, Rhonda Britten wrote, “Fear is the gatekeeper of your comfort zone.” Fear is going to try to talk you out of leaving your nice, cozy little box, reminding you of all the dangers you’ll face: the missteps, the disapproval, the uncertainty, the discomfort, etc. And some of those may actually happen. We just have to go back to what we want more - perceived comfort or living with more passion.

Do you say “yes” to more passion, more joy in your life? Is there a little part of you wanting to rock the boat a bit? To make some waves? To take a stand for yourself?

Where do you want to start? Where do you feel like the comfort zone just isn’t working any more? Let’s go out and rouse our own rabble! We deserve it!

Joining the revolution

Filed Under Authenticity, Coming out of hiding, Freedom Challenge, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

This morning I ran across a video clip that made me feel like I’d found some long-lost family. “People are thirsty for knowing themselves” and “we want to start a revolution in people being authentic” were two of the first comments out of Carrie’s mouth. Omigosh! Someone who’s part of “my tribe” that I didn’t know was out there! I’m not alone!

Okay, so I know I’m not alone, but there are those days when I wonder if I’m off course with the work I do…that I long to share. You know, the “well, given the economy, isn’t what you do a luxury?” In my heart, my soul, it’s “No! This is some of the most important work imaginable!” Knowing yourself, being authentic, finding your own sense of joy, genius, sparkle…THAT’S what this precious life is all about! I’ve been dabbling in this revolution for several years now, so the revolution’s started, it just has to gain momentum!

I’ve just purchased the “Style Statement” book & looking forward to reading it!

Inquiry

Two of the questions asked by Carrie and Danielle were:
What do you love?
Why do you love it?

shining brightly

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People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Is your inner light shining brightly or barely shining?

How do you keep your inner light shining when things start looking dreary?

Invitation to sparkle

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Thanks to Brian Kelly and his willingness to accept an invitation to do a little introspection - and then write about it - I was inspired to put out more invitations to sparkle. Feeling “the sparkle” is one of those great indicators that life is good and we’re on the right track (vs. feelin’ crummy indicating that something is out of alignment with our “best self”). And when we make the choice to notice the sparkle that may be veiled somehow, we can’t help but start looking at life more positively. Can you feel the sparkle?

my rant: Boo! Hiss! to staydublin!

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A while back I read an article about a woman who, in her blog, blasted a hotel she’d stayed at & wound up being contacted by the hotel and given a big apology and some comp stays or something of that nature.  During our trip in Ireland, we had one of those “I can’t believe how bad this is!” stays & I jokingly told my husband and sister-in-law that I was going to write about it in my blog.  Well, it was jokingly until yesterday when I found out that  the partial refund we’d been promised from this outfit (staydublin), still hasn’t come through, so I figured, okay, I’m a bit riled up about this and it might actually be fun to do a little rant about it.  I have to say that the loft was called “self-catering”  so we expected there’d be a lot of “bring it yourself” but how far does that go?  The “requirements” for the tenants were that we washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen and common areas, but there were no cleaning tools or supplies, no dishwashing soap, and NO HOT WATER.   We were told that as a “self-catering” place, we needed to bring in these things (except the hot water, that they were supposed to provide).  We were to dump the garbage, but not leave it on the street, so WHERE was it to go?  As the fellow I quoted below wrote, toilet paper was doled out one roll at a time.  And, after my sister-in-law took her shower (a short one, by the way), there was NO HOT WATER!  The roof leaked all over my husband’s bags.  The television didn’t work.  No soap (evidently, that’s a self-catering item).  A lovely bathroom, nice shower, beautiful tub, and NO HOT WATER!

I found I wasn’t the only one with issues about the company:

GooseinEngland wrote: “The location is initially very difficult to find. I spent two hours lugging my stuff around the area and asking many locals who had no idea how to find it. The main issue is that it’s in a courtyard area and the street address doesn’t correspond to the building location.
… There wasn’t enough hot water even for one shower. They do have a hot water booster on the heater tank, but it requires waiting an hour from the time you request more water. Also, the heater is on a timer, so forget taking a shower when coming in from Temple Bar unless you feel like waiting an hour….

The front desk is also somewhat incompetant. You’re doled out one roll of toilet paper at a time, and you have to constantly ask them for it. Additionally, you have to ask for hair dryers (which are French). The front desk staffer actually told me to to put a key in the extra space where a prong should be (eeek!!)”

Some good lessons learned, but in the meantime, Boo! Hiss! to staydublin!

Travel and appreciation

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Visiting Ireland. With my husband and my in-laws. What lessons I’m getting to learn!

On my first day here, I finished Jerry & Esther Hicks’ book, Ask and it is Given. I’ve been able to use the processes from the book several times each day. The basic premise of the processes I’ve used is that when you are feeling something that doesn’t feel good, you can “reach” for something that feels better. What’s great is that no matter where we are, we can reach for a thought, belief, or circumstance that feels better, and of course, one that we believe. I keep finding myself in frustrated and/or irritated mode. And in each moment, I can remember how grateful I am to be in Ireland with my husband. How grateful I am that I have a body that works as well as it does. How grateful I am that four and five generations ago my ancestors chose to leave Ireland for San Francisco! As beautiful as Ireland is, as wonderful as the people are, I’ve become so accustomed to wide roads, amenities I take for granted, etc. When all the things I’m grateful for come flooding in, it lifts me from being irritated. Amazing. Not that I’m not back there the next time my father in law does something that irks me, but it certainly is giving me more time to appreciate what is great in my life.


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